Butter Stick

Now, you may be wondering to yourself, “Why don’t I have this in my home already?” Well the answer to that question is that the Butter Stick Type is no longer being massed produced, or sold, or generally thought about. In response to that answer you may wonder,”How could such an ingenious invention no longer be available to the public?” That is where I believe America has taken a blow to the stomach. How could such a convenient and easily usable product not be in America? Well, I have devised a list of reasons that would hopefully convince everyone in the world on why this product needs to be in everyone’s home.

  1. Convenience is key
    Don’t you ever have one of those days where you just really want toast? Like you really want it. LIKE REALLY WANT IT. Thanks to latest advancements in butter technology, you can now butter your toast as quick as Usain Bolt. Just grab your nearest Butter Stick Type and apply it to the target area. Low on time? Well, the Butter Stick Type is the quickest buttering device in the nation (or it would be if it was still in use).
  2. Simple to use
    Nothing is easier to use than the Butter Stick Type. The Butter Stick Type is so easy to use a monkey with no arms can use it. This surely means that any human being could use this product and have fun at the same time. Give it to your dog, cat, spouse, infant child, uncle Tom, or mailman, they are for sure going to have a jolly good time with this easily usable product.
  3. I can’t believe its not butter
    I actually don’t even know what this product is made out of. It could actually not be butter, but there’s one thing I am sure of and that is the Butter Stick Type is made out of the finest engineering. What kind of butter is able to stay in a room temperature tube and not melt? The answer is the Butter Stick Type of course. The fact alone should re-insure you that this product is being made by the top scientists.

If this list alone didn’t make you want the Butter Stick Type to be placed into stores again than I don’t know what will. It can butter my bread faster than any knife, a guinea pig can use it, and has America’s finest working on it. The Butter Stick Type is not only want America wants, but also needs.

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6 thoughts on “Butter Stick

  1. Okay this is my favorite. I love the way you just structured this post. It’s so cute but funny at the same time. This honestly made my day. Oh and now I want a butter stick.

    Like

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